7 DPO

The cramping is here.  They are unmistakably strong as always. Guess its back to the regular cycle now.

Sigh…

Till next time…

God-Incidences

I have a position that has many tasks that can be done from home.  I absolutely LOVE that about my job.  It allows for so much work/life balance and let’s face it…it’s just great to work in your pajamas.  Well there are some whispers around my coworkers that the company may be going to mostly/all remote positions.  This would be just…awesome…like to maybe the millionth degree.  Did I mention payday and I work for the same company now?  I don’t want to think about it too much or hope too much but if payday and I were able to work from home…that would be just amazing!  My first thought was of how great it was when I got to see my kids come home from school every day for those few months I was out of work a few years back.  It was tight financially but…man oh so sweet!  Also, I work best from home, at work my office is quite lively and I sometimes have to zone out to do what I do.  At home, it’s just much easier for me to focus.  It does take discipline but once I got used to it…I preferred it vastly to being in the office.  Well, when I mentioned to payday I was a part of a project that is making me think this might be more than just talk…the first thing HE thought of was “and if we get you pregnant we can both be home and I wouldn’t have to leave either of my babies”. 

Did you ever have something hit you as like… purposeful?  Some people talk about destiny or fate like it is someone/something controlling your life or pulling you into circumstances you have no control over.  I think purpose and destiny are to very different things as far as ideas go.  To me, purpose is circumstances lining up in an ORDER that makes the way clear for you to do what God wants you to do or put better…the circumstances are like stone steps (good and bad) to what you were made to be doing at a certain time in your life.  So, sometimes in my life I have had times where everything made sense about a 100 circumstances or events at one time.  I never claim to know the mind of God (dangerous Moses territory there), I just think sometimes he reveals himself in purpose to the tune of a 1+1 equation.  Basically, so there’s no other answer to the question of how something came about but him.  He did it.   He did it all.  We are talking a lifetime of learning this lesson that God can build you up with nice neat bricks, intricately placed this way and that so that when he places you up top, you can see that he was always working for your betterment, that you did not stack those bricks and it wasn’t random luck that placed those bricks so strategically…it was him.  These are what I now call God-incidences (a perfect word I have stolen with her knowledge from induetime J).

That’s what this feels like.  Payday had a different job last year, he was laid off…we went through some financial hardships and I had a position that was just a paycheck. In November, payday (charming as ever) attends my company Christmas party (a company I had been at all of two weeks mind you) and swoons my middle and senior management teams.  They love him and then a position doing exactly what he had been doing professionally the prior year becomes available (Luck schmuck! God-incidence).  I refer him and he is working in my same building by the middle of December.  Payday makes more money (much more) than he did at his old job and so do I AND the new company has great insurance for everyone .  Payday is happy (read my previous #microblogmonday post), the twins are happy, the queen of the clan is happy.  Do you see where I am going?  Do you see that God in his infinite wisdom seems to have been building this pyramid with blessing after blessing, hard times after hard times, and new opportunity after new opportunity so that we might get to a place where he wanted us?  There’s no point in lying to God, myself, or my faithful (two or three hopefully) readers…I have always hoped that place was (somehow) financially stable, (somehow) at home, with our two soon to be teenagers and (somehow) new baby.  I used to think “now I don’t know how all that’s going to happen”.  How could all those things be true at the same time?  Never put a limitation on the almighty.

Till next time…

Two

Two positive OPK’s in a row.  Changes like this and the four day early period from last month always throw me off kilter.  I am a regular girl, I’ve said a billion times that even though there’s failure after failure…at least it’s the same WAY.  I know morbid sense of humor…yata yata yata.  I’ve only had a double positive OPK once…in five years.   Can you guess when it was?  Hmmm?  Of course, my miscarriage…the one and only time I have been pregnant since this journey began.  Now, I will bite my nails off and test as early as possible…my zen has been shattered.

If anyone is out there reading this…pray with/for me.  If you don’t believe in anything…still pray. It can’t hurt.

Till next time,