In reading over the last of my posts for 2013, I am slightly horrified at the bleak outlook on fertility and life in general. I am a realist sure, but not a pessimist. I hereby declare that gloom cycle past for now. It’s a new year, tomorrow is my first doctor’s appointment for wellness as well as fertility. We are marching on toward victory…I can FEEL it J My husband has a new job and his mood is through the roof excited, I can’t help but catch a bit of his good cheer. Did I say how much I love that man? Wind beneath my wings he is…
Anyway, what’s going on with me? Not much, I’m going back to my health wagon that I slipped (Ok maybe I jumpedJ) off of a few months back. I’ve gained 10 lbs of the previous 30 lost back and I’m not happy about the back track because I have quite a ways to go BUT at least I don’t have to start all the way over. As far as fertility, I made the appointment with a local OBGYN. I needed a change in doctors and this one comes recommended from a friend. That’s as far as I have gotten. I am praying and hoping (in that order) to hear a string of good news from whatever doctors we have to see. In the meantime, I’ve taken a black marker to my diet. I am usually a proponent of everything in moderation BUT I’ll have to work my way back there. My love of potato chips has edged toward obsession and we need some time apart. This is also true of red wine (I love my wine), cheese, and potatoes. These things have to be cut out for a time until I can have them in suitable portions without withdrawal symptoms J
On another note, my mom (who is just awesomeness) has let me know that she can’t wait for more grandchildren. This is great! I know some people would find this sounds like pressure but that’s just not how my mom means it. She has told me she would be completely content if I never got pregnant again. She loves her grandchildren but I don’t think she ever saw me as a mother of 3 or 4. I am an only child and until I had the twins…I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to get married or have kids. I think she was worried I would be overwhelmed or lose myself or something like that. Now that the twins are getting older (going to be 13 this year L)…I think she can see how nice it will be to have a young child around again. Also, it’s very different from when I last became pregnant, payday and I have been together for a decade. Married for almost eight years, good stable jobs, complete education…and (I think this might be the biggest thing) she’s older. She was too young to be a grandmother when I made her one but NOW is the time her grandmother clock has started ticking. I love the sound. My mom is the best woman I have ever known. She loves God, is honest and true to herself. She put me first and I remember loving to see the look on her face when she turned around and saw me. She lit up.
It says something to me now that she is so proud of me and wants to watch me mother more children. I guess that’s it for today folks. I’ll post about my doctor appointment by the end of the week!