We have a date set

The date for the urologist appointment is set.  September 15^th is the day.  We are hoping to get all payday’s testing done that day.  Incidentally, he and I had one of the best conversations we have ever had about trying to conceive.  I let him know almost all my frustrations with the process.    He is a man of few words let me tell you …this is the most words we’ve had about this subject in a long time.  I am a kind of straight forward girl and payday (even with his tough exterior) has a “please handle gently” sign in plain sight on this particular subject.  I have felt in the past like I am going into his flowers and sunshine setting and pulling the curtain up so he can see a little of the realistic view I have to endure each cycle.   It is completely unfair and an act of desperation but I can’t seem to stop myself every few years from saying…do you not see how HARD this is?  Do you have any idea what our chances are now compared to what they were when we started this?  These questions along with a healthy dose of resentment for taking THIS much time to have tests done and for watching as I zoom through all the invasive testing only to have us stall completely at your ONE test. 

Not thinking of how very scared he may be to find out he has something wrong, not thinking that it’s kind of beautiful that he doesn’t know some of the awful statistics, not thinking that his faith is sometimes all that keeps me sane…yes, I know don’t line up all at once boys.  I’m just such a great catch. Anyway, we discussed all this and he simply said from this point forward we will treat trying to conceive as the priority it has always been in each of our minds and hearts.  That guy…that guy…that’s exactly why he’s my guy.  So we started with scheduling an appointment for the neighborhood urologist.   Let’s see what we find out if anything.

**SIDE NOTE – After not testing for a thousand years, I tested early this cycle (Today, 13DPO…yeah, I know not early by most standards) even though all my symptoms of AF were the same or worse (see previous post to this one).  I tested with a digital because you know…I like to kill my hope with a head shot.  Not pregnant, just as I suspected.  CD1 should be tomorrow as planned.  Yeah, this is the way I give an update…sorry so bitter**

Till next time